ONE:
in the dream
grandma was in the casket just like we left her
(the casket was more like a temporary walk in closet
of unfinished wood)
and we were about to bury her
the coffin/closet in the backyard of my growing-up house
(still the residence of my parents)
it was short sleeve
it was summer
it was grass green
it was family full (mom, dad, 2 sisters, me)
some kind of bust of grandpa’s head (carved out of all white) mounted
on casket/closet/tomb wall and one of grandma’s on the other side
and then
she began to breathe
after two formeldahyde-filled months
and not only did she begin to breathe
but she began to move
and not only did she begin to move
but she sort of reinflated herself
her feet, uncurled, filled out once again
her stomach
her spine
realigning
and before we knew it
she was walking around
and while it may have made sense
to have just a last breath or two
none of us expected this resurrection
and the longer she thrived
the more apparent it was
that we would have to plan
for a life with her in it again
(housing.
healthcare.
pill-sorting. only this time she didn’t have any pills
nor crooked shoulders
or elbows
no highway of pain laid down the length of her)
and all i could think
when it became more and more apparent
that she was back
and unbroken
i found myself wondering
how does she do it with all of that formeldahyde inside her?
TWO:
said he saw me riding on university
recognizes (likes) my bike
works for the bicycle coalition
transportation alliance
said i was badass
for taking a whole lane
don’t know what it takes him saying that to validate it for me
when i’ve been trying to tell myself this whole time
said i was badass
and for once
rather than being hard on myself
for the ways not wanting to drive has limited me
i finally feel
the flipside
the ways
that using my body/my bike to get me places
has given me power
detail collector 