Monthly Archives: July 2013

everything you do is beautiful, denver colorado

pictures for words

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lighthouse writers workshop
in the historic district on race street
on the front porch, the writing summer campers (grades 5-8)
on their lunch break
lounge-laughing
there is something simple and freeish in the space they are given between writing

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another building on race street

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denver public library
where i think about new eyes
which might be a name for an unnamed phenomenon
about the way a place looks the first time you’ve been there
the way the details come in clear
i think about these new eyes in the brushed steel walled elevator as we
rise to the sixth floor where we encounter an exhibit named the artistry of railroads

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it isn’t until we get to red rocks that i remember a landscape
(summer 2008 the month i lived in boulder colorado)
it isn’t until we get to red rocks til the thunder rolls

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this profane machine

a word for meeting your dear friends’ kid
for the first time
who is already almost two
and even more captivating/endearing than in the photos
her almost constant brow furrow
not a sign of disgruntledness
but the sign of a looker and watcher and taker-inner

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unnamed phenomenon:
the feeling of hearing a young one (3 or younger)
saying your name for the first time

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found moodring
park-path discovered
and slipped onto the too small finger of an almost-two-year-old

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leftover unnamed phenomenon from a few days ago:
the disorientation/reorientation one experiences when connecting with people you normally see in the context of one city while both you and them are in the context of an entirely different city together
(for instance, when your san diego housemates just happen to be visiting portland when you are
and you meet each other at the bluffs)
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on a holland street porch in the sun patch
shiz and in with bowls of phone booth garden salad
in our hands
reorienting ourselves are the words i use
and what i really imagine is three orbits
recalibrating

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an offering
baby jar full of sugared golden plum guts

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monochromatic sledge says of our outfit trifecta
dusty rose (me), blues (shiz) and black (sledge)
while we circle up on the sidewalk
before several kinds of departure
(not to mention the matching stains)
garden tomato splotch (me), unknown but a postulation regarding menstrual blood (shiz), golden plum guts (sledge)

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toenail clippings on the floor under seat f24
how i notice them as i shove the little red backpack under the seat in front of me
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even through this tiny window on this profane machine
portland still gives good sky

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what i’m guessing might be smoke
from the colockum tarps fire
mixing with clouds as we take to sky
how it seems to take the shape of a kind of cascading over cloudshelf
and looking like waterfalls and mist

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everyone in denver is looking at my text tattoo
craning heads around and leaning in
but a lot of them are smiling back at me

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kindof corporate-ish but also fantastic i say
about my experience of the celestial seasonings factory tour i went on years ago
sounds like denver barker replies
and we are already laughing in the airport pickup zone
about the spf 50 spray
tucked into the car door pockets

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from the water world:

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Oil from a leaking offshore pipeline has reached a beach on the popular tourist island of Ko Samet in Thailand. Here Thai navy personnel attempt to clean up. -bbc news, day in photos

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Workers remove crude oil during a clean up operation on the beach of Prao Bay on Samet Island in Rayong province, eastern Thailand. About 50,000 liters (13,200 gallons) of crude oil that leaked from a pipeline operated by PTT Global Chemical Plc, has reached the popular tourist island in the country’s eastern sea despite continuous attempts to clean it up. –voice of america, day in photos

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Sailboats compete in the 32th edition of the Copa del Rey regatta in Palma de Mallorca, Spain. voice of america, day in photos

 

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Bangladeshi children cool off at Mohammadpur Geneva camp, one of the largest refugee camps in Dhaka City. -voice of america, day in photos

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mercy fracture

last week it was my first rope swing moment
today, my first motorcycle ride
how we inhale the lavender scent at the same time
after the tar smell
past the water treatment plant smell
but before the spruce/evergreen air
how the vision is wide and open
how we tune ourselves to the sound of the brakes
and laugh often at the stoplights

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of all the photos:
dentures
last days
(sleeping peacefully or sleeping in a position that says i want out of this body or
i want all this stuff off of and out of my body)
distended
sky, sky and more sky
it is the one of your tattooed hand on hers (iv’d at the wrist)
that makes me cry
i don’t think about the past now
you say
or the future

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and even if your memory
(getting holier)
doesn’t register whether or not we made out three years ago
even if you can’t recall the significance of a train whistle
or the meaning and origin of the term porchprince
even if houndstooth and refugio and soulships draw blanks
and the names mark darkly and neil oh’kneel don’t ring a bell

the fact that my laughter and your laughter collide the way it does
a windchiming beyond memory and/or the past
is alive and bigger than enough

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a photo-story
of resistance
delivered to the inbox
a house in the middle of the freeway
because the owner refused to move

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searching the term mercy fracture
for experimental reasons
just to see if there is such a thing
because its rhyme/meter works
for the task at hand

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over a kombucha in a house-turned-parlor
(parlor meaning bar, not as in beauty)
i attempt unwrapping the sadness
a sort of skin

they say the bathroom is haunted here
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fishnets and short shorts and
a dancefloor full of queers
the night air on my skin on the ride home
the ease of pedaling from point a to point b
and the twist of a city
that doesn’t quite remember me

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what summer nights are made for

it must just be your structure
the yoga instructor tells me
about how my left elbow bends more than my right
in downward dog

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the collection of metal graters
nailed to the wall
most tarnished and some rusting
plus pink painted cabinets

if 19th street were a person i might say something like
don’t ever change. you’re beautiful.
by which i think i might mean something about

there are ways this house hasn’t changed
and i am grateful
for how this allows me to hold the past up to the present
and see the distance between the two

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(in case you didn’t catch that in your catching up, amy,
here’s a shout-out to you
and your imitation of your dad cycling through your sister’s names to get to yours)
(and here’s one for tarp:
i’m not sure you finished naming the three highlights
from the five-week adventure
but you can send them
via post)

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on the porch at 25 ne failing street
we cheers the ginger ale bottle to the coconut water can
and when you say this is all an act
referring to your usual filthy banter

and there is something about the sun from here
how it passes through the spokes of the streams of bikers pedaling north on williams
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a.m. and i break off squares
of the sea salt almond chocolate
talk about tattoos and the phenomenon of people commenting on them
and i say some thing about the difference between how people read us and therefore approach us
her being more of a ‘tattooed lady’
and me being more of a ‘scruffy kid with some tattoos’

among tactics we develop for shifting the dynamic entirely
are a.m. repeating the phrase avert your eyes!
in an old-lady-imitation kind of way

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i learned it from co-counseling
i say
to keep showing up
and reaching out for connection
without expectation or resentment

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wear boots
i am instructed
for the first motorcycle ride of my life
jeans too?
i respond

see you in the street, sledge

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this is the time of day when it gets kindof weird
i tell a.m. as we step away from the bluffs
sky a pink talcum
because all i want to do is ride my bike with a crew
(what summer nights are made for)

i think some of this has to do with going home
to a house that is a home-away-from home
but not really my home

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A photographer captures a new exhibit at Legoland, Windsor, created to mark the birth of His Royal Highness Prince George of Cambridge. -bbc, day in photos
and this is where i go
are you fucking kidding me???
and think of babies born in places many humans wouldn’t volunteer to step foot in
babies whose names none of us may ever know

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from the water world:

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Greece’s Evangelia Platanioti and Despoina Solomou perform in the synchronised swimming duet free final during the World Swimming Championships at the Sant Jordi arena in Barcelona, Spain. -day in photos, voice of america

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as tall as ten of us

over earl gray tea with a splash of cream i mention how grad school became my primary partner
and how the desert became my lover
i mention collaborationships i aspire to
and the lilypad jumps into the future

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damn, portland! i call out from willamette and the way it curves above the river
lookin good!
what also follows:

damn, mt. hood!
damn, tree!
(lookin good!
lookin good!)

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substitute pedicure for fullbody massage
and you’ve got a deal
is kindof how the afternoon went

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kombucha bubbling in white paper cup
fizz a fine mist on my forearm, my wrist
a tiny and effervescent cooling on this 88 degree day

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blanketlounging
as recent returnees
shiz and i still incredulous at how easy everything can be here
in the cresting of summer

backdrop:
firs as tall as ten of us (at least)
playground sprinkler (how the water catches the light and how the kids run through it)
a family barbequeing in the park shelter
and other families on blankets scattered in shade patches around the park
plus a gazebo and a rose garden

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what sounds like a beer being cracked open in the middle of the movie theater
it’s just a sparkling water jesse turns to me and says
the aluminum can in his hands

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perhaps it is the upright position this bike allows me
perhaps it is moving through the time of day/night where the heat and cool meet
perhaps it is everything
that brings the mantra while bicycling since returning to this city
that goes something like this:
i’m free
i’m free
i’m free

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you are who i look like
i think, upon photogazing a friend with thick long hair
in my other life

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and then both my selves listen

through the open window
half asleep i identify the language as french
later my more awake self asks my sleep self
what made you think so quickly that it was french?
and then both my selves listen
and while it isn’t amelie french
(what i mean by that, i think, is:
not native french)
it indeed is still french
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the crack of a woman’s spine
first in one direction
then in the other
at least 3 or 4 pops on each side
one mat ahead of me
before yoga begins

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in shavasana
my body humming

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the rattle of the combination lock
against gracie silverado’s mixtie frame
as we roll over bumps and cracks

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the water world:

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Heavy rain battered the central part of the Korean peninsula, including Seoul, flooding homes and roads.
-bbc, day in photos

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bright yardlight that at first i think
is the moon
spilling its silverblue on the street

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damn you, portlandia, for turning everything
into satire
so that i can’t even go to the tea shop
and see the chapstick made by some couple in their basement or living room (the handwritten sign says this)
for sale at the counter
and not imagine it as some carrie brownstein fred armiston skit
i understand how it started as something humorous
but i don’t like how it casts a glow
a glaze on every experience/situation one might find themselves in in this city

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lilies in a million colors
in a front yard
flanked by tall trees
how i once gave an imaginary gift
of a porchful of lilies

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in honor of being here
i order the forest park tea
iced
redpurple filling a pint glass
pierced with a brown straw

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peanut butter chocolate caramels
in bulk
five dollars worth
and gone before the day is over
sharing counts, but it was minimal

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i say something about how i get the sense that i could be anywhere
and find a coffee shop
and get good work done
stay on the path
for instance today
at the tea shop
letter of recommendation written and uploaded
cv updated

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how to unconfuse

what does this mean
i ask from the back seat
repeating the sign i saw them use minutes earlier
you mean this? lola demonstrates
that meansimportant
ah i say i like it

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the glint of river water cut by flat rocks
droplets lifted up at each skip before
splashing down again

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it may take me 20 minutes to wade into the waist deep clearcold
but when i finally dunk my whole body in
i am swimming and floating and swimming and floating for a good 20 mintues
evergreens rising up around me pointing to
blue blue sky
birds so far up there i cannot tell what they are
but close enough i can still see them
how i have discovered this summer that  i don’t need to hold my arms out so my body makes a T shape in order to float
instead, when my neck gets tired, i can clasp my hands behind my head
buoyancy as ever

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someone says something about a quick change and i say
that’s what i’m about to do
as i lift my riverwet suit top off and
quickly cover by shuffling on the sports bra
something i would never do at a public swimming pool
but at this rivers edge
(even though there are other humans outside of our group)
doesn’t seem so bad
and there are pockets we tuck ourselves in
of rocks and shrubs

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i may have finally learned how to unconfuse my asl d’s and f’s
when lia tells me that the f has the three last fingers up
that are kindof like the parts of a written f

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lola passes me a tiny brown jar
labeled in their handwriting:
HEALING SALVE
comfrey, calendula, st. john’s wort,
love & magic
made last summer and preserved in fridge
for cuts they say
burns and bruises too
it also works for dryness

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i’ve got to get back before dusk turns dark i say
since my bike doesn’t have a light on it

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kitchen window open
cool night air and the nabisco sugar cinnamon scent
carried in on it

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