calling in bruce and the alligators with my musical saw [aka: heartbreak at the us/canada border]

1. racine
fon du lac
how i remember these names
from storm warnings
flashing across tv screen

2. three-lane highways
lining outstretched green of cornfields
rusting grain silos
restored red barns

3. homeland
place where i re-collect
my heart

4. white water towers
rising out of leafy lush summerscape
like sculptures

5. from ‘the winter vault’:
a solution of despair

6. heartbreak at
the wisconsin/illinois border

7. a toll stop
that holds history
out over the freeway

8. memory:
blue/gray chevy family van
automatic window
stuck open
during chill of winter
on the tollway
headed 1 1/2 hours north

9. the great migration
of cherries from japan
and potatoes from peru

10. dissasembly:
leaving my stomach
in michigan
my heart
in a driveway/on a living room floor
in wisconsin

11. the nephew i call ‘monkey’
wrapped around my leg
family gathered around the mazda (zoomzoon)

12. sunset in rearview
on the 401
shortly after
i call in the alligators
and bruce the brontosaurus
with my musical saw
to release you
from the doorless house
you built up

13. self-declared international pastry day

14. single shooting star
aove highway
less than one hour outside toronto
i keep my eyes
fastened to sky
for more

15. bilingual highway signs:

16. heartbreak
at us/canada border

the midwest: staying true, not just passing through

1. flat leaves
shining as they twist into sun

2. cornfields
where last night
was endless dark

3. remembering the patch
joey lynch silk screened
that read:
‘the midwest:
staying true, not just passing through.’

4. 65 mph
through the landscape i come from
hills that roll
trees for miles
thick with summer green dipping in and out of them

5. deconstructing the layers
how many  times
does the same moment
have to hurt?

6. roomfull of sleepsounds
kid lungs
kid mouths
kid breath
in out
rise fall
i cast blessings
over their bodies, their hearts

7. gifts of sunprints
deep sea divers
and alaska tattoos

8. i-94
three lane highway
of origin

9. flipping through photographs
this is me at age 0, 3, 12
1970’s colors
rounded corners
swimming through futility at the kitchen table

10. envelope
not adressed to me
guilty fingers
guilty eyes
confessions over backyard tent setup

11. chlorinated kid bodies
pulled by
the currents of
back yard swimming pool whirlpool

pizza ranch calisthenics

1. red dirt
prairie hillsides
where wyoming and south dakota meet

2. gas station coffee drink
sips of dessert for breakfast

3. driving into air gray with rain
black hills, south dakota

4. there is comfort
in the name of this state
we are close
to the place i come from

5. image of the hurt:
block of fabric twined together like a strawbale
how i work at taking it apart
sheaf by sheaf
how you help
releasing the frayed pieces
to the wind

6. black hills national cemetary
a grid of white gravestones
spilling across prairie green
so huge
it is a sea

7. small wild sunflowers
growing roadside

8. the audiobook
we jokingly refer to
as ‘the bloodbath’
my favorite parts include:
every time campbell thinks of a new reason
for why he has
a guide dog

9. the significance
of a wind turbine propellor
on its side
speeding past on a flatbed
we both smile

10. three states in one day
this is a lot for the sprawl of the (mid)west
wyoming, south dakota, minnesota

11. turbines in the dark
lit and punctuated
by blinking red
a whole field of them

12. pizza ranch calisthenics
ya’ll stop by
red blinking sign with cowboy hat
hanging off imaginary hook

spilling hearts and tears all across the state of montana

1. spokane, wa
water so cold
i must return to it
shower is a waterfall
i am far from here

2. book on tape:
bone marrow harvest
heart locket at pawn shop
fistful of crushed violets
iron lungs and service dogs

3. continental breakfast
pour your own waffles
high fructose corn syrup masquerading as maple
oatmeal packets in back pocket

4. ranchester, wy
car clock says 10pm
new time zone decrees
that it is 11

5. abandoned gas station
with 24 hour credit card pumps
saves us
rain spattering into parking lot puddles
air smells so good
my whole body responds

6. spilling hearts and tears
all across the state of montana
this stretch of i-90
this landscape
holding new history
while we hold hands in the car
moving through

7. dog sleep breathing
over right shoulder
from cramped back seat

8. text from a secret portland cafe
a line
an anchor

9. cold toes curled under milo’s thighs
white hotel sheets
sage prarie wind
and train sounds
whistling in

10. marveling
at this annual unexpected return
feet on same spot of wyoming earth
city and railroad
nose and lungs full
of same sweetgrass smell

11. in my 33rd year
i discover:
my relationship to cool cool water
my scorpion stinger
over and over again,  my resistance to change

12. milo calls them ‘fairy cities’
sprouting up through the mountain prairie dark
apocolyptic and glittering
also known as oil refineries

the motion begins with a series of bridges

1. feet in water fountain
hair in wind
there you go again, tattoos, drawing attention
try, but you cannot read

2. pema chodron
breaking me open
and i’m only on page five

“the trick is to keep exploring and not bail out, even when we find out out that something is not what we thought. that’s what we’re going to discover again and again and again. nothing is what we thought. i can say that with great confidence. emptiness is not what we thought. neither is mindfulness or fear. compassion-not what we thought. love. buddha nature. courage. these are code words for things we don’t know in our minds, but any of us could experience them. these are words that point to what life really is when we let things fall apart and let ourselves be nailed to the present moment.”

3. the approach:
feet first
then bowing down
head and hair under running water
from here, the clouds look like art installations

4. i-5 north
the motion begins with a series of bridges

5. josh, andrea, leander, grace 
in five minutes, we are laughing like siblings
exchanging familiar eyes
laughing like siblings
this is how gay portland is;
all three of us in the back seat
by random chance
a version of queer

6. foodlist go-arounds
what we can’t stand and what we won’t eat
and other culinary crimes
eats everything
it’s not about what the food is
it’s about how small it’s chopped
slimy things
including but not limited to:
tapioca pudding

7. i-90
how i thought i’ve never met you before
and then i remember
around the curve of that gargantuan river
how i fell in love
with your blue glitter water
last summer

8. food poison prevention project:
egg salad
rice crackers
garbage can full of ice serves as fridge

9. quadruple city communications
base operations: seattle
connecting to:
vancouver bc
portland or
berkeley cal

10. depth of vision
into tail lights
white dashed stripes 
radio lab tellling us
how the   body informs the brain

11. sun salutations off freeway
in prairie patch
great cricket chorus
by lightening unraveling

12. grounding stone in one hand
cell phone in the other

13. big sky sunset
in between towns
whose population is loneliness

14. 2009’s most brave handholding moment
sponsored by
milo’s sad time of day 

15. ten miles outside spokane
this is not fucking in story city
but we still snack on the bedspread



gone fishin’

hello darlings.
please note: i will be traveling from now til aug 15th…
as per usual, i’ll be keeping track of the details analogue style and then posting them when i have internet access and time.

feel free to post yr own details in the interactivity section under 3 details.

and please throw some good cross country highways of the heart roadtrip energy out there for me. light a candle. toss some glitter.



salmon reinterpreted as destiny

1. awake too soon
theme of the summer

2. audy
50 year old hands massaging me into other visionary worlds
administering lavender oil to bicep oven burn
(this gesture of being cared for)
moment after moment of gratitude
as she works my heart open

3. first fallen plum on sidewalk
green and speckled
so small, i think it is an egg
and reach for it

4. salmon
as destiny
by pony champagne

5. sheets on line
in 5 minutes

6. thunder through the phone lines
from one coast to another
we talk of
silver foxes
the home for wayward girls project
the trainstation: end of an era

7. 90 degree room
required uniform:

8. the wonder
at how summer
always makes me feel
more capable

9. corinne and i
on white of sheetless bed
and sweating
in the sauna palace

10. crickets
chorusing into the late late night

members of the great bling exchange

1. startled awake
i move into the day
with the slowness of swimming

2. the rise and fall
of jock jams
lemme hear you say way-o

3. lee and mo
members of the great bling exchange
seated for breakfast
wide eyed

4. deep fried tempeh sticks
with ranch sauce

5. maybe
there is a city
that has already forgotten my name
you are a city
that has already forgotten my name

6. how do we house the hurt
inside the same bodies
that have housed
gum drops and sundaes
and other ways of saying i love you
without saying i love you

7. deborah observes:
so many questions
lola observes:
the density of the unsanswered

8. word association picnic
irving park
until the light
turns long and gold

9. one red mike and ike
from the quarter candy machine

10. sequins
flashing light
heart full
voice hoarse

11. flash of blue red blue red (repeat)
on faces
outside the E-room

12. the ache
of waiting

the order of tall boots

1. morning
two rituals
involving water:
eye drops
netty pot

2. carrie klein
gifts, heals, and arms me with:
clarity of vision (not eyes, but heart. mind.)
the heart protector
the triple burner
moxa smoke curling from forearm to air

3. two unsuccessful attempts:
color photocopying/transparencies
best muffins on alberta street

4. jumna
who holds stories in her hair
is letting the gray
grow out

5. a sadness spread between cities

6. kinko’s encounter with
fellow zinester
over scotch tape and glue-stick
and precise manual cutting machine
black and white comics
in square shape
looks perfect
the first
in many
of the post-accupuncture
opened heart

7. the order of tall boots
well represented
on stage

8. post-postmodern lecture series
one of one
offering bitmapped overhead images
of restoration
offering working definitions of love
offering lists and catalogues of history
and re-mixed details
offering a blessing exchange

9. annah’s tears
and the clenched teeth it takes
to sing through them
a whole packed summer sweaty room
wiping their eyes
in honor
of mothers who have passed on

10. tiger witch stone demon soul sex stories
told with voice
as well as face
and arms
and stance

11. praxis recollects
taking notes
on one hot bootboy marathon
fanning ourselves outside bookstore
grateful for shared history

12. confession:
it is hard
to see other people in love
right now
it is extremely hard
for me
to admit this

13. there is a message
about emptiness
transmitted but untranaslatable
in arriving alone
in leaving alone
in kissing language goodnight
in white lie by-products
there is a counter-message
in the drawer of spoons