Monthly Archives: November 2012

bike ride home

moon
full and silver
swathed in cloud gauze
to the north
police helicopter
search beam aimed and blazing
to the south
welcome to my neighorhood
i sing while pedaling
pressing eastward
welcome to my neighborhood-hood
welcome to my neighborhood

(any resident of  city heights san diego will tell you about the helicopters
and how not a day goes by
without at least one
circling the sky)

Advertisements

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

policy of witness

text, 6:43am:
lunar eclipse happening.
set your intentions!

_______

the i voted! red white and blue sticker
pasted to sidewalk
between where i park my bike and where i wait
for the shuttle
how many days it has been there
how many more it will stay intact

_______

the roadkill skunk in two pieces
plus a dark smear on asphalt
at orange street and 35thish
how i usually look at the carcasses
(a kind of personal policy of witness)
but in this case
i haven’t been able to
three mornings in a row
_______

week nine
i talk about reaching a clearing
seeing a light

_______

joshua clover’s
empty water bottle
to the left of the podium
and how he continues to try to drink from it
joshua clover’s
white hair
amber glasses
and blue eye bore
joshua clover’s poem
that borrows a line as its last
from lorine neidecker
seize the banks
how the line explodes
and how the name
is attached
to the woman i spent weeks 8, 9 and 10
researching and reading and
writing letters in her name
which feels like
running into
an old friend
or aunt perhaps
_______

maybe it is the moon
infusing clouds with light
a kind of gathering
a kind of hope

For the second day, thousands of dairy farmers have gathered near the European Parliament in Brussels to protest over milk prices. -bbc day in photos

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

on the gigantic black p/leather couch after a long day

have you thought of volunteering
217 asks me
when i talk about
the new neighborhood
you live right near a school
which is like a skeleton key
turning
in a rusty lock

_______

how it feels to say things
one may have never said outloud to another human before
in public
such as
i don’t trust people will show up
the way i want/need them to
so i go at it alone
and how we leave space
for the force of such language
to land

 

 

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

this uprooting

dear readers,

cardboard. that’s what i’d call everything in the detail collector from the past month  (if not longer). some kind of empty literary calories. life is happening elsewhere. not in this blog. not in this body.

it seems like it would b a fruitful place to write from, struggle, but perhaps i am too deep in it to find the fruitful horizon. what is below the fruitful horizon? astroturf? dead seas? dust?

some of this is called fear.

the other night william and i walked two miles to a cafe. i would not walk this walk alone at night in this neighborhood (daytime, no problem), though i would and did all the time in my old neighborhood. day. night. didn’t matter. some of this fear will be massaged out with time and familiarity. but some of this fear is my racism, my classism coming to the surface. and how extra-frightening it is to articulate that to you, readers. when subway and other franchise logos appear glowing on the horizon become beacons. how i have been pushing to get as far away from that sterility as i can. and how now, in this odd moment far from any home i have ever known in multiple layers of ways, the subway sign is telling me it’s ok. you’re gonna be ok it says in yellow white and green light.

i have always lifted or turned my head when i walk in order to look people in the eye as we pass each other. i still do. sometimes i give a nod. whisper a hi, ask a how you doin? but never if they’re not looking me in the eye back. it does no one any good to think i don’t belong here.

at the same time, i think it is important to have dialogue, to get critical about the choices we make about the places we live. when i say we, i guess i’m mostly thinking of people of some privilege. white people. white people who were raised somewhere in the middle class spectrum.

the other day i had a moment that was similar to the phenomenon of how it’s ok if i crticize my mom, but if you talk shit about her, you’ll have hell to pay. only  it was about being named/labeled white. i mean. i know i’m white and i call myself that all the time. but what a funny moment, to have someone else say i’m white. outloud.

i have been thinking about ships. little creaking ones. rowboats. wooden oars. dinghies. old barrels. i’ve been thinking about climbing into one of them. pushing off the dock of this blog. dipping the oars into the water and not coming back. (forever? for some time?)

but maybe you like reading cardboard? and maybe it is good for me to write the cardboard. i remember the first year i began this blog. the new awareness that showing up to a practice everyday brought me. it was showing me things i never saw about my process before because my process was inconsistent. but, dear detail collector, what have you been showing me lately? that i am still breathing in a dead body? that i should row my boat over to prose island and stay there for a while?

thriving. how do i get there from here?
you are either moving towards life
or moving away from it
i noted last week

for thxgvng/colonizer’s holiday, william and i hosted an orphan’s soiree. and every time i say this phrase, i make a point to say neither of us are actual orphans. i know actual orphans and i am not one. i still have parents/family and am in contact with them. we say we love each other and mean it as best we can. there are not many synonyms for orphan in the thesaurus (foundling, stray). it felt important this year, though. because after three years away from my chosen portland family, i do feel orphaned. not on purpose. but just more like: what was a net i knotted together when i lived in portland for ten years is slowly fraying. ripping to reveal new holes. what once held me up i am now slipping through. homesick for a place that no longer exists as corinne put it a month or two ago. a phrase that has been echoing ever since.

when we sat down to eat, it felt like amélie. fire crackling in the fireplace. we were warm and content.

this uprooting. this is nothing like packing what you can carry from your house as fast as you can because the isreali military dropped leaflets over your neighborhood telling you that your neighborhood is an unsafe place to be (in other words: the bombs are coming).

1 Comment

Filed under Uncategorized

that same silence

crammed into the narrow aisles of sin lee market
concrete floors
50 pound bags of rice
bamboo shoots for sale in the produce section
this is not the kind of place where someone is hired
to spend their entire shift
facing shelves
this is the kind of place
upon enter the doors
is like entering another country
vietnamese a swirl in our ears

_______

and then the simply named mideast market
four blocks down
where we walk past bulk bins of
lentils and flours
where i smell the soaps
where we buy two green apples

rose flavored turkish delight
and i add to my list for next time:
sesame pistachio candy

_______

there was that year
i spent this holiday in silence
not speaking from sun up til sun down
refraining from the feast
it is with that same spirit
that same silence
stillness
i write to you from today

_______

i call it an orphan’s soiree
knowing full well none of us
were ever abandoned by our parents

_______

william and i decide
how to situate ourselves
so we can both
sit near the fire and
take in the sublimeness
of amelie

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

ceasefire

a ceasefire was reportedly agreed to
amy goodman states
of the bomb barrage
upon gaza from israel

to which sharif abdel kouddous, a democracy now correspondent, reports from gaza city: 

I got into Gaza through the Rafah border crossing, which is the only border that Gaza has to the outside world that is not controlled by Israel. I had to wait three days on the border to get in from Egypt, but I eventually did. It is really a dystopian reality here, one of widespread violence and suffering. There is heavy naval bombing, there are F-16s strikes, there’s an incessant buzz of the drones overhead that really gives you the feeling of being under constant threat. You can also hear the outgoing rockets being fired into Israel. The streets are quite empty, shops are closed, there’s a heavy tension in the air. Last night, as these talks of a cease-fire were under way. It was particularly brutal. There was a nonstop barrage of bombing that made the ground literally shake every 10 minutes. This was as Clinton, I believe, was arriving in Israel for these talks.

At around 2:00 AM, there was a missile strike that landed in an open area not more than 30 yards from where I’m staying in my hotel and two hotels near by that’s housing many foreign journalists, it blew out the windows of all the surrounding buildings including in my hotel room, left a massive crater in the ground. One journalist told me — all these journalists were out in the lobby, some in shock, some kind of laughing nervously. One said, this is intimidation, there is no other reason to do this. Of course, this is a fraction of what many Palestinians in Gaza have gone through. As you mentioned, nearly 140 have been killed, mostly civilians, 34 of them children.

That attack last night, which was terrifying, it followed attacks that hit the buildings of — that houses Agence France Presse, the offices of Al Jazeera and AP were also damaged by a nearby attack. Yesterday, Israel targeted and then proudly admitted killing two Palestinian journalists in their car. That strike in the car actually happened on the corner of a school run by the United Nations, which yesterday was turned into a massive shelter for displaced Gazans. More than 1800 of them came to the school yesterday — I visited it today — after the Israeli military dropped leaflets on towns in northern Gaza, ordering residents to evacuate their houses. Many I spoke to fled after reading these leaflets. They were hit with fear and panic. Then the bombings started, so they fled. Many of them leaving behind most of their belongings.

These families are now crammed into these classrooms of this schools, sleeping on the floor, they have little water, they have not eaten since last night. There’s many traumatized children. One of them could not stop wailing and throwing herself on the floor. Her mother said she had been like that since the bombing last week. Another mother told me her 13-year-old daughter could not stop crying unless she is being held by someone and embraced because she’s overcome by fear. This is what’s Gaza is like here. People have no where to go. The threat of bombing and violence is ever-present. The infrastructure here is being systematically destroyed. Israel targeted a large bank, they targeted one of the biggest strikes so far was the civil administration building. They target police stations. The edifices of the state are being destroyed. The people have little recourse for any kind of safety.

(see full report here)

 

 

 

 

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

haloed half

yesterday
it was a vigil in a circle that kept expanding around the silent tree outside of the library
candleglow warming our faces
as people took turns
reading the litany of 100+ names of those who have been killed in gaza
by israel’s rockets and bombs
launched without reprieve
by air and sea

today
it is another list of names i read aloud
those of transpeople

murdered because of their genders
a solo vigil
under a haloed half moon
resting on its curve
like a bowl
open to receive each syllable
(list copied from the international trans day of remembrance site)

____________________________________________________
Sonia Masi
Location: Gujarat, India
Cause of Death: shot
Date of Death: November 24, 2011
Source
(*aka Imran Ajmeri)

____________________________________________________
Gardenia
Location: Campinas, São Paulo, Brazil
Cause of Death: Stoned to death
Date of Death: November 25, 2011
Source
(*aka Claudio Lucio Miranda de Almeida)

____________________________________________________
Brenting Dolliole
Location: New Orleans, Louisiana
Cause of Death: severe head trauma
Date of Death: November 26, 2011
Brenting was 22 years old.
Source

____________________________________________________
Suely Scalla
Location: Campinas, São Paulo, Brazil
Cause of Death: beaten to death
Date of Death: December 3, 2011
Source

(*aka Ademir Melo Oliveira)

____________________________________________________

Pascual Ake Beh
Location: Almoloya, Mexico
Cause of Death: Gunshot to the head
Date of Death: December 4, 2011
Source

____________________________________________________
Charlie (Erica) Hernandez
Location: Detroit, Michigan
Cause of Death: Stabbed to death
Date of Death: December 17, 2011
Erica was 26 years old.
Source
____________________________________________________
Bruninha
Location: R. Bandeirantes Apucarana, PR, Brazil
Cause of Death: Multiple machete blows to chest and neck
Date of Death: December 24, 2011
Bruninha was 19 years old.
Source
(*aka Reis Lima dos Santos)

____________________________________________________

Mona
Location: Belo Horizonte, Minas Gerais, Brazil
Cause of Death: Gunshots to the foot and back
Date of Death: December 27, 2011
Source
(*aka Reis Lima dos Santos)

____________________________________________________
Githe Goines
Location: New Orleans, Louisiana
Cause of Death: strangulation
Date of Death: December 30, 2011
Githe was 23 years old.
Source
(*aka Orlando O. Goins)

____________________________________________________
Popinha
Location: Campos dos Goytacazes, Rio de Janeiro State, Brazil
Cause of Death: Gunshots to the back (2)
Date of Death: January 1, 2012
Source
(*aka Charlemagne Rosa)
Popinha was 25 years old.

____________________________________________________
Unidentified person
Location: Manaus, Amazonas, Brazil
Cause of Death: Strangulation
Date of Death: January 17, 2012
Source

____________________________________________________
Carla White
Location: Londrina, Parana, Brazil
Cause of Death: 2 gunshots to the chest
Date of Death: January 17, 2012
Source

____________________________________________________

Crain Conaway

Location: Oceanside, California
Cause of Death: trauma to body
Date of Death: January 17, 2012
Source

Crain was 28 years old

____________________________________________________
Brilli
Location: San Félix, Ciudad Guayana, Venezuela
Cause of Death: 7 gunshots to the head.
Date of Death: January 22, 2012
Source
Brilli was 49 years old

(*aka Ramón Antonio Olivero)

____________________________________________________
Sabrina
Location: Redemption, São Paulo, Brazil
Cause of Death: Gunshot at close range
Date of Death: January 25, 2012
Source
____________________________________________________

Guilherme Augusto de Souza
Location: Sumaré, São Paulo, Brazil
Cause of Death: Gunshots (13)
Date of Death: January 23, 2012
Source
Guilherme was 16 years old.

____________________________________________________


Mateo Vicente

Location: Tondo, Manila, Philippines
Cause of Death: blunt trauma to the head, dumped on a sidewalk
Date of Death: January 25, 2012
Source
Mateo Vicente was 21 years old

____________________________________________________


Maicon Roux

Location: Indaial, Santa Catarina, Brazil
Cause of Death: gunshots to the arm, face, and chest.
Date of Death: January 25, 2012
Source
Maicon was 25 years old

____________________________________________________

Paola Cristiano
Location: Maceió, Alagoas, Brazil
Cause of Death: 7 gunshots to the head, neck, and back.
Date of Death: January 30, 2012
Source
Paola was 28 years old.

____________________________________________________
Peter “Hair” Tamiarana
Location: Curitiba, Paraná, Brazil
Cause of Death: Strangulation
Date of Death: January 30, 2012
Source
Peter was 26 years old

____________________________________________________
Deoni Jones
Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Cause of Death: Gunshot
Date of Death: February 02, 2012
Deoni was 23 years old.
Source

____________________________________________________

Tiago da Silva Garcia
Location: Iguazu Falls, Paraná, Brazil
Cause of Death: Gunshots
Date of Death: February 11, 2012
Source
Tiago was 22 years old

____________________________________________________

Paulo Robert Campos
Location: Lowland Grande, Mato Grosso, Brazil
Cause of Death: Stripped naked, stoned to death
Date of Death: February 24, 2012
Source

____________________________________________________

Montserrat Pineda
Location: San Pedro Sula, Honduras
Cause of Death: Repeatedly threatened, then chased and gunned down.
Date of Death: February 24, 2012
Source

(*aka Jonathan Joseph Pineda)

____________________________________________________

Carla
Location: Campo Mourão, Paraná, Brazil
Cause of Death: Gunshot
Date of Death: March 2, 2012
Source

(*aka Natalício José Carlos da Silva)

Carla was 51 years old.

____________________________________________________
Junior Ricardo de Jesus

Location: Ituiutaba, Minas Gerais, Brazil
Cause of Death: Skeleton found with bullet fragments near body
Date of Death: March 2012
Source

____________________________________________________

Agnes Torres Sulca
Location: Atlixco, Puebla, Mexico
Cause of Death: Neck wounds, burned, thrown in a ditch.
Date of Death: March 10, 2012
Source

____________________________________________________
Chiquinha
Location: Bandeirantes, Sao Paulo, Brazil
Cause of Death: Stoned and beaten to death.
Date of Death: March 13, 2012
Source
(*aka Neco Francissco de Oliveira)
Chiquinha was 35 years old.

____________________________________________________
Soraya
Location:  Olivenza, Alagoas, Brazil
Cause of Death:  Gagged, had pieces of wood inserted into the anus. Penis burned with alcohol.
Date of Death: March 13, 2012
Source
(*aka Valmir da Silva)
Soraya was 39 years old.

____________________________________________________
Rene “Rosita” Hidalgo
Location: Miami Beach, Florida
Cause of Death: gagged, multiple stab wounds, neck slit.
Date of Death: March 15, 2012
Source

____________________________________________________
David William de Oliveira Cândido
Location: Londrina, Paraná, Brazil
Cause of Death: Severe head and neck trauma
Date of Death: March 22, 2012
Source
David was 16 years old.

____________________________________________________
Coko Williams
Location: Detroit, Michigan
Cause of Death: shot
Date of Death: April 4, 2012
Coko was 35 years old.
Source

____________________________________________________
Tyrell Jackson
Location: Riviera Beach, Florida
Cause of Death: shot
Date of Death: April 4, 2012
Tyrell was 23 years old
Source

____________________________________________________

Menakshiammal
Location: Krishnagiri, India
Cause of Death: Burned and throat slit.
Date of Death: April 12, 2012
Source

____________________________________________________

Paige Clay
Location: Chicago, Illinois
Cause of Death: Gunshot to the face.
Date of Death: April 16, 2012
Paige was 23 years old.
Source

____________________________________________________
Rebekah
Location: Maceió, Alagoas, Brazil
Cause of Death: Gunshot to the back and head.
Date of Death: April 22, 2012
Source
(*aka Cosmo da Silva)

____________________________________________________
Leandro Eduardo Campos Ferreira
Location: Recife, Pernambuco, Brazil
Cause of Death: Multiple gunshot wounds (11)
Date of Death: April 26, 2012
Source

____________________________________________________
Brandy Martell
Location: Oakland, California
Cause of Death: Gunshot
Date of Death: April 29th, 2012
Brandy was 37 years old.
Source

____________________________________________________
Unidentified person
Location: Hope, Paraiba, Brazil
Cause of Death: Gunshot
Date of Death: May 10, 2012
Source

____________________________________________________
Anil Aayiramthengu
Location: Thankassery, India
Cause of Death: throat slit, abdominal injuries.
Date of Death: May 10, 2012
Source

 

____________________________________________________

Lorena Escalera
Location: Brooklyn, New York
Cause of Death: Fire
Date of Death: May 11, 2012
Source

 

____________________________________________________

Jaime Antonio Lopez
Location: Machiques, Zulia, Venezuela
Cause of Death: Multiple gunshot wounds
Date of Death: May 31, 2012
Source

____________________________________________________
Chrissie Azzopardi
Location: Finsbury Park, London, UK
Cause of Death:  Unknown
Date of Death: June 4, 2012
Source

Chrissie was 22 years old

____________________________________________________

Thapelo Makutle
Location: Kuruman, South Africa
Cause of Death: throat cut, partial decapitation, genitals stuffed in mouth.
Date of Death: June 09, 2012
Source

____________________________________________________

William Geovanni Aguilar Pérez
Location: Villanueva, Guatemala
Cause of Death: Gunshot
Date of Death: June 17, 2012
Source

____________________________________________________

Alison
Location: Villanueva, Guatemala
Cause of Death: Gunshot
Date of Death: June 17, 2012
Source

____________________________________________________

Unidentified person
Location: Pinhais, Curitiba, Parana, Brazil
Cause of Death: Burned to death
Date of Death: June 26, 2012
Source

____________________________________________________

Jeimy Tamara Perez
Location: Guatemala City, Guatemala
Cause of Death: Gunshot
Date of Death: June 28, 2012
Source

____________________________________________________

Unidentified person
Location: Pinhais, Paraná, Brazil
Cause of Death: Burned to death.
Date of Death: June 27, 2012
Source

____________________________________________________
Camila de Mink
Location: Baurú, São Paulo, Brazil
Cause of Death: Stabbing
Date of Death: June 30, 2012
Source

(*aka Carlúcio de Oliveira)

Camila is 40 years old
____________________________________________________
Tracey Johnson
Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Cause of Death: Multiple gunshot wounds.
Date of Death: July 5, 2012
Source

____________________________________________________
Secil Anne
Location: Antalya, Turkey
Cause of Death: throat cut, face slashed.
Date of Death:  July 10, 2012
Source

 

____________________________________________________
Sapphire
Location: Bauru, São Paulo, Brazil
Cause of Death: multiple gunshot wounds to the chest, head, and leg.
Date of Death:  July 31, 2012
Source
(*aka Josimar Ferreira Severino)
Sapphire was 23 years old.

____________________________________________________
Barbarita
Location: San Pedro Sula, Honduras
Cause of Death: Gunshots to the face and head
Date of Death: August 3, 2012
Source

(*aka Marlon Javier Jiménez Alemán)

____________________________________________________
Tania
Location: Sincelejo, Sucre, Colombia
Cause of Death: Gunshot to the head
Date of Death: August 4, 2012
Source

____________________________________________________
Vanderson Viegas Silva
Location: São Paulo, Brazil
Cause of Death: Dragged for two blocks by car.
Date of Death: August 5, 2012
Source

(* aka Amos Chagas Lima)

____________________________________________________
Tiffany Gooden
Location: Chicago, Illinois
Cause of Death: multiple stab wounds.
Date of Death: August 14, 2012
Donta was 19 years old.
Source
(*aka Donta Gooden)

____________________________________________________
Sirena Paola
Location: La Guajira, Maicao, Columbia
Cause of Death: head trauma
Date of Death: August 11, 2012
Sirena was 44 years old.
Source

____________________________________________________
Unidentified person
Location: São José do Rio Preto, São Paulo, Brazil
Cause of Death: shot
Date of Death: August 15, 2012
Victim was 30 years old
Source

____________________________________________________
Unidentified person
Location: São José do Rio Preto, São Paulo, Brazil
Cause of Death: shot
Date of Death: August 15, 2012
Victim was 24 years old
Source

____________________________________________________
Laryssa Silveira
Location: Piracicaba, São Paulo, Brazil
Cause of Death: multiple gunshot wounds to the chest and face, dumped by the side of the road.
Date of Death: August 17, 2012
Source

____________________________________________________
Tiago da Silva Oliveira
Location: Pernambucho, Brazil
Cause of Death: Gunshot
Date of Death: August 19, 2012
Source

____________________________________________________

Robson Franco Pereira 

Location: Campinas, São Paulo, Brazil
Cause of Death: Gunshots to arm and face
Date of Death: August 24, 2012
Source

______________________________________________________

Dewayne “Deja” Jones
Location: Miami, Florida
Cause of Death: Gunshot
Date of Death: August 26, 2012
Source

 

____________________________________________________
Unidentified person
Location: Clementina, Brazil
Cause of Death: repeated blows to the head with a spade.
Date of Death: August 29, 2012
Source

____________________________________________________
Kendall Hampton
Location: Cincinnati,Ohio
Cause of Death: Shot
Date of Death: August 29, 2012
Kendall was 26 years old.
Source

____________________________________________________

Kyra Cordova
Location: Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Cause of Death: Gunshot wound to the head.
Date of Death: September 3, 2012
Source

____________________________________________________
Victoria
Location: São Paulo, Brazil
Cause of Death: Murdered and mutilated, her genitals and an ear removed. Thrown in a dumpster.
Date of Death: September 16, 2012
Source
(*aka Mark Gustavo da Silva Costa)

____________________________________________________
Unidentified person
Location: São Paulo, Brazil
Cause of Death:  neck injury, hands and feet tied, wrapped in a sheet, and burned.
Date of Death: September 21, 2012
Source

____________________________________________________
January Marie Lapuz
Location: New Westminster, British Columbia, Canada
Cause of Death: Stabbing.
Date of Death: September 29, 2012
January was 26 years old.
Source

____________________________________________________
Madonna
Location: Aracaju, Brazil
Cause of Death: Stoned to death
Date of Death: October 19, 2012
Madonna was 39 years old.
Source

(* aka Amos Chagas Lima)

____________________________________________________
Cassandra
Location: Rouen, France
Cause of Death:  asphyxiation, body partially burned after death.
Date of Death: November 4, 2012

Source

(*aka Walter Frantz Flores Zapata)

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized