Monthly Archives: August 2009

abundance, not the word, but the experience

1. back porch yoga
mason jar of water
tank-topped shoulders sun-warmed
skin tomato-scentend
green beans and sungolds in hands and basket
scrubbing kitchen to a shine
i’m coming home
i’m coming home
i’m coming home

2. hummingbird in stillness and flight
entering field of sound before field of vision

3. split cherry tomatoes
for unresponsive chickens
an aviary post traumatic stress disorder

4. endless tale
of tupperware cupboard chaos
and the determination
of dismantling

5. snack plates on turning table
goat gouda
best avocado this year
red peppers
green beans
mammoth orange heirloom in slices
moss green couch
lifting shiz and i up

6. coconut water toast
eye contact made

7. voyage
into the sadness
from shore and back
something about rural missouri
something about this culture of loneliness
something about looking far into the future
as one might look into the sun
hand as visor

8. molly
in clean kitchen
two pans, one pot on stove
paneer and green beans
yogurt tomato sauce
brown rice
an offering

9. grocery bags
heavy
with back yard pears
and plums
visions of  huge pots of boiling water
and mason jars
lifted carefully down into them

10. abundance
not the word
but the experience

10. tire squeals
etching audio map
of the neighborhood
into cranium

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affliction of joy/adoration for the great mimosa tree

1. dreams:
free queer dance party
barricaded with black ribbon
to admit paying members only.
in protest, i steal a worker’s keys
and walk them
hidden in cupped hand
through the hospital.

2. dreams #2:
driving
alone
white four door
so tired, eyes nearly closed
freeway moves too fast
to attempt
switching
from passenger to driver seat
in order to operate steering wheel,  gas and brakes better.
cliff edges rising on my right
swerving into tight turns

3. quiet
from victory outreach church
9am sunday
ne 30th and alberta
absence of dressed up volunteer crossing guards
for lease sign in window
this silence
following years of sunday morning
rock out/praise jams in english and spanish
is one of the ways
gentrification sounds

4. vita wordgames:
johnny
freebasting
eggs in vinegar water over blue flame of 6-burner stove
paul’s contribution
to the running fry label list
freye of the tiger

5. alley gleaning scores:
butterfly bush (aka: buddleia davidii) and money tree flowers
best found grapes ever
plums, plums, plums
one falling directly onto my head
single honeysuckle drip on tongue
accompanied by live bbq joint jazz

6. venerations
spilling
all over grade school playground
feed me
feed me
feed me
until i can taste

7. affliction of joy/adoration
for the great mimosa tree

8. narrative
of fielding anger
unspooled
along unmown back ways

9. lola-fried tofu
garden basil
csa lettuce and cucumbers
nim chow
best peanut sauce
i’ve ever made
salt instead of tamari
agave instead of maple syrup

10. wonder
opening up before me
in garden walk dusk

11. observations/embracings of
the emotional depth
with which
i engage
in this life
hearbreak and joy
too immense
to be charted

12. molly extinguishing pink pillar candle
32nd birthday wish riding up on smoke trails

13. something like a hostess cupcake
homemeade
orange inner frosting
carried in on erica and mary’s hands

14. heat and spark
positive/negative
red and black
jumper cable clips
red subaru
to
honda motorcycle
let there be light


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the great vertical transporting of leafy things

1. dreams:
fleet of bikes
painted with ladies
for co-counseling event
stolen/wrecked/sabotaged.
shoulders heave above ribcage
expand/contracting
short forced bursts
crying so hard
tear-wet eyes
when i wake

2. pre-autumn spring clean
beginning with staircase
the unexpected:
theory’s hair collecting under broom
pink candles
dust on dried flowers
half-rotted stems
murky water in antique medicine bottles
dating back
to you

3. hanging thin tshirts
work jeans
squares of hankies
on line
attempting to identify the discrepancy of
overheated from undersleep
or
intensity of almost september sun

4. half hour nap
10 sleeping minutes
cuddleheart

5. the great vertical transporting
of leafy things
bamboo
barely clearing swooped black arc
of electrical wire
in blue pick up bed
ne fremont and 16th

6. looking into other people’s lives
with longing:
at erica and deborah’s
erica brings home neighborhood figs
slices them in half
spreads goat cheese across pinkred blush
offers them
on purple plate
the care.
phone voice
tells me how she told her partner
if you ever need me to stop traveling
and come home to you
i’ll come home.

country houses warmed with light
in the city
neighbors talk
across front porches.

7. lamplit academy of literary arts
great vision
collective effort
bringing us together
reminder of what effort and possibility feel like
dream actualizing
best contradiction to what my paid work tells me

8. british columbia
on fire

9. new depth to the
part longing
part ache
how it extends beyond me
drilling deep into earth
roots seeking water

10. renaissance clouds
photos would do more justice than words
but still not justice enough
pre-sunset
full billows
purple bodied
gold lined

11. hawk vs. crow
diving through obstacle course of
neighbor’s swingset
jesse’s backyard
southeast
where the view of the moon is good

12. what is the word
for how place/geography holds history
for the wonder of the body
returning to those places
for how i find myself
same constellation of humans
my body perched with notebook
where yours once did

13. how tonight
clyde and i move
through 11pm abandoned streets
uncomplicated
adept


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one might say alchemy

1. dreams:
trampoline
and other outdoor toys
in a yard which is more like a field
kristi, eden, dyanne
gift exchange
mason jars with wooden forkspoons
some with water
can’t remember whose name i pulled
maybe corinne
maybe audrey
empty rooms for yoga
house in transition

2. recollection
of eileen myles essay on robert smithson
reconfiguring my brain
before sending me off to sleep

3. places the disease enters

4. something about desecration
a full body experience
filtering through
creases and folds of brain
into meat of heart.
a fury.

5. composing manifestoes
about why words
about why language
about why stories
cross-genre
multidisciplinary
a spark
or steady series of flames

6. talking french social theory
foucalt
in the dishpit
i am in love
with the paradox
of this moment

7. the conference:
garden pesto
rice pasta
sauteed farmshare summer squash
perched on couch
exchanging family dinner rituals
including joe roucco voices/imitations

8. teahouse
berry forest for grounding
ginkgo for a clear mind
coaching
cheerleadaing
believing in ourselves and each other enough
to move forward
one might say alchemy

9. moon
silvering cloud patches
blueing sky

10. tank top
jean skirt
tall boots
bump n grind slow jams
ocean of sweat

11, crickets
air thick with their chorus
don’t stop, insect singers,
please don’t stop

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october. and we shall sing.

1. dreams:
tino
challenging me to a _____-off
a brilliant ridiculousness
laughter breaking us up
how she howls in pain into dorm room window
after toe stubbing
last week of highschool
transplanted to class
in the city
after busses and cars
a bit lost
but finding my way
to room
#210

2. awake to this:
silentely, i wish to sail into your port, i am your sailor
quietly, i drop my weight into your sea, i drop my anchor
i sway in your waves,  i sing in your sleep

3. remembering last night’s radiant body
carrying heat of sun in
bones
limbs
shoulders

4. choreographing the vita shuffle
a series of dance moves to include:
the deepfry
the dishdog
and
the salad spinner
perhaps also
the scrub
the BEHIND YOU!
and the prep

5. airborne aardvark sauce
cough is contagious
and fed by laughter

6. sir, yes sir!
jon and i
joking
about wearing fatigues to work
responding to manager
as if he were lieutenant
[don’t ask me why i know how to spell that word].

7. nicoletta’s blue dress kitchen magic
green rice
tortillas from scratch rolled out
from molly’s hands
heirloom tomatoes, refried beans, avocado, delicata squash
heaping plates on back porch devoured
followed by corinne-led ruminations on home
contentment
so rare
it’s almost hazey/unrecognizable

8. the ruminations:
home: difficult conversations and cozy tea moments
sometimes all in one sitting
home: not a place i am moving through
but a place i inhabit and tend to
home: combination of aesthetics and mindfulness
creating space to move and breathe and be renewed in

9. this one’s for you corinne:
equinox
and new breathing space
between bangs and eyebrows

10. twenty-first century ‘chat’
instant
max on the other end
how a heart can open
and feel held
in warm old-friend arms
from 300 miles away
in black and white
i’ve got you in my planner
october
and we shall sing

11. tarot cards
in stacey’s hands
alberta park
await me
tomorrow

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guilty breeches of the pop music ban

1. dreams:
wandering through 1936 with a crooked leg
three types of train tracks
veining out
from back end of city
surprise package from richard, whom i’ve never met
written in comic cartoon format
pulling up to art college looking like airport
site of my future
in silver zoomzoon mazda
we conference with woman behind crystal desk
knifing open
plastic persian rug pillow package
in hotel room

2. fifteen cool air morning minutes
before the boy who sold the future

3. yoga mats
across dry forest dust
shannon
leading us through
sun salutations
that have me taking
mental notes
between breath

4. first breakfast: peach
second breakfast: instant oatmeal, hold the maggots

5. blessing this body
in river water
how i can pick apart the layers
of skin, flesh, bone
as cold soaks in
moving through them

6. guilty breeches
of the pop-music ban

7. the great search
for fish creek road
and the reward
of a fee pipe

8. water
too sun spilled
and greenglass
to deny
and cold
that will keep us
young

9. rubber band around wrist
a snap for every time

10. clackamas river trail
rough rock
forest dust
pockets of cool
and stretches of sun
navigating the edges
of incline
and dropoff
husks of burnt trees
still alive
never
have i adored water
as much as this

11. cross section of hundred year old [at least] tree
bleeding sap
climbing through thorns
to touch fingers to it
pine smell
wiped on insides of wrists
and thin chest skin holding ribcage to heart

12. offering natalie
a guided mess tour of the palace
in three parts
mess #1 three week coast to coast road trip
mess#2 wedding weekend at oregon coast
mess#3 two night campout in the mt. hood national forest

13. giddy
hugging each others’ knees
under hummingbird and lace curtain wonder
going back to that gem store
i know nothing about

14. affirmation:
you’re on the level

15. return to the city
return to six hour sleeps

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mental four-track

1. dreams:
housegeust at art warehouse
pink orange and red
old airplane hanger/barn
bule silver sculpture of the word hope
beach visit
red yellow and black sand in striated layers
washing over brown
tea with tiger’s mom
what happened?
dog treat floorspill
what i bought/bought into
false advertisement

2. body in tent
head out open door flap
mossed limbs of tree giants
stretching up into sky
sun passing through

3. restoration in the sleep realm

4. an artist
whose medium
is gunpowder

5. unnamed owl
call echoing along waterway
exaggerated in forest hush
if i could quiet
everything around this

6. current mental four track:
track #1: that song from corinne’s mix
nunca, pero nunca…
track #2: wind through low branches
sounding like an approach
track #3: unnatural arch in spine
stretched across smoothed downed tree trunk
track #4: all items catalogued under one name
balancing accountablility with 300 miles

7.  cookstove breakfast scramble
campfire dinner
corn, sweet potatoes
pad thai and rice noodles
impressed
with the power of
flame

8.  the child
who, just after birth,
the mother refuses to touch
is there not a name for this?

9. how fire moves through wood
rather than eating it up
the exquisite subtlety of this differnce

10. green blue clear cold
of clackamas family

11. the work of hauling cold water
in 5 gallon buckets

12. hot spring steam
rising
through square wood window
against conifer green
this is a meditation

13. mossy pallete
under waterfall trickle
just beyond
ewok village

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