Category Archives: Uncategorized

the spectre of rejection

the scribble scrabble scratch of squirrels
waking me
at least an hour before the alarm
is set to go off
_______
with tears
sharon congratulates me
while we balance our dinner plates in our hands
for having the great knowing
in reference to the messages 
that have come through to me
regarding picking up
and carrying on
_______

the spectre of rejection she says and i say
invite them to tea
_______
i can go from zero to fuck that shit
in a matter of seconds
 i say about
how reactionary i can get
about the racket of the literary biz
and what someone means when they say
it’s about who you know
_______
from the water world: 

pastor louicesse dorsaint with his wife Maria dorsaint in front of their Church, Haitian United Evangelical Mission, which was damaged by flooding from hurricane Irma in immokalee, Florida – Reuters/Stephen yang

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pink-seeped

the day begins with many things, but this is one:

victor (our 80-something? year old neighbor) and i talking through a rolled-down window on sandhill road
he hands me the empty washed jar i sent flowers in at news of his sister’s passing and also, a box of taffy from his daughter in florida
as soon as i am handed that empty jar,
i’m filling it again
with dusty purples and sharp reds and cream whites
and marching it up victor’s hill
to place on his porch
_______
this report just in from dreamworld:
her sighting of four rainbows
one of which happened to be diagonally striped just like my skirt
she says
_______
all the gold/yellow
leaves pirouetting down
as the storm gale plucks them
as seen from cool ranch’s front porch< gazing woods-ward
_______
it’s a bagel moon phase tattoo baigz explains
to ghana while they head out past the garden shed
from the back door
_______
post-stormy sky as seen from highway:
gray smudges to the south
(these are patches of rain – distant, falling),
to the west – a just-washed crisp clear (everything lined in the shine of water)t
and a cloud
which looks like a collage of several clouds
of all different types
glue-sticked together
_______
mama cat and i both
standing along the mushroom yard
as the storm front blows in
(picking up speed and force)
and how that first thundercrack
sends mama cat under the house and i
throw my hands up to my ears and my body goes
into a high-shoulders pose
_______
outside at the picnic table with
sampha in my ears as i halve the cherry tomatoes
before arranging them on dehydrator trays
the clouds pink-seeped against the west slate sky
_______
the reflection of a moth’s eyes
in the beam of my headlamp
on my night commute
down to cool ranch
_______
from the water world:

Indian villagers attempt to cross flood waters with the help of rope and empty canisters next to a washed away portion of a bridge at Palsa village in Purnia district in Bihar state. – voice of america, day in photos

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when the gusts pick up

lean in i say lean in and savor it
not that he’s asking for advice
but this is what i offer
in the strawberry patch
regarding his current matters of the heart
_______
how are you with bird sounds
i ask and ask around again 
while we dig up strawberries for runners and while we crunch on crackers and carrot dip
so i can know the name of the bird
whose sound keeps captivating me
(later, after mica searches ‘magical sound’ and ‘forest bird’ she finds it: the wood thrush
and when i look it up in the bird book
i’m punched a little by the phrase declining in numbers in recent years)
_______
the wind shaking juniper berries out of the cedar tree
and the tray of ground cherry halves i guard
when the gusts pick up
so the detritus doesn’t land
on the sliced open fruits
laid out across the dehydrator trays
_______
the green smily face in the middle of the cross section
of the ginormous cherry tomato i just cut in half and when i see it
i cannot help but laugh
outloud
_______
emory tossing each clean item of his laundry (tshirts and shorts mostly)
just plucked from the line
onto the porch floor – which is a notoriously dusty surface
to fold them
_______
emory, eric and in
seated around the computer screen in the office laughing
at the beginnings of home alone 
which, turns out, is surprisingly more engaging
than i had anticipated
_______
how the moon
not yet full, but getting there
sends light through the trees so that i don’t need
do flick on the headlamp
on my way down the footpath
behind the priv
along the mushroom logs
to sugar shack

_______
from the water world:

People sit in water and play mahjong at a water park on a hot day in Chongqing, China. – voice of america , day in photos

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the kind of blue that lets light through

yeah, we could call it burning the man
i joke while we all joke on the front porch at lunch about how sandhill
becoming a festival
at which dj deep dish is a wedding officiant
and attendees can choose from a menu of five options
of what kind of ceremony they’d like
(hip hop being one of them)
_______
wearing steel toed combat boots and walking in formation to sit at a desk in an office kris talks about the weird comedic experience
of being a fema/americorps volunteer
and how we wore these shirts that said FEMA in huge letters on the back
and it was like wearing a ‘kick me’ sign, people hate FEMA
_______
a kind of summer victory:
tightening the final knot of the final string of twine of the final tomato trellising
not that the plants are done growing
but that the Tposts are only so tall
_______
there is something quaint
about tying brown bags around already-bloomed sunflower heads
to catch their seeds before the birds pluck them out
some things are just
that simple
_______
the drone/whine/buzz
of two hummingbirds divebombing the red-yellow sunflowers
at the south edge
of south garden
_______
me in my sandals and skirt and sleeveless tee
walking west on the gravel road that i first cut my gravel-road-biking teeth on (literally)
sentence by sentence whispering intentions
my finger hooked through the water bottle cap
which dangles and sways with each step
_______
and the sky:
broad feathery streaks
of luminescent cloud
painted across it,
the sky itself a dome
painted the kind of blue that lets light through
and beginning to copper and gold-rose
at the edges
_______
from the water world

People take a foot bath at a park in Tokyo’s Roppongi district, Japan. – voice of america, day in photos

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through the thin curtain drawn

somewhere between
the chicken coop and the whitehouse
before breakfast
i give myself over
to the impressive weeds in the fava bean bed
and come out of it all with that north garden sandy soil
coating my knees, calves, forearms and there’s probably some
on my face too
_______
kris and eric and i
clinking our mugs of summer blend tea
(with oatstraw)
over the butcher block
where dinner takes the form of peanut butter cookies
cooling on the racks and jill scott plays
in the background
_______
while back-forth stitching
black thread on black elastic
i meet luma mufleh
being her empathetic, badass and courageous self
on the center stage of a ted talk
titled don’t feel sorry for refugees,
believe in them
and it’s exactly as it should be  i think
when the audience standing-ovations her
at the end
_______
and something about jill scott in the background
and the lowering sun through the thin curtain drawn aross the kitchen west-facing window
and the way we three just sit and sip makes me feel
like we are at a sidewalk cafe
and the novelty of such a thing from here
makes it all worth it
_______
the heat breaking finally
just enough today 
that my sheet of eclipse stamps
is returning to the darkins
of it’s at-rest state

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the enthusiasm is contagious

miko diving in through the opened driver’s door window

to say hello to sole and i
before he tours us through his truck 
filled with drawers and bins that look like a mess, though he knows precisely where to find the most specific thing
and he shows us a machine he says can do everything
including reproducing itself
and his excitement and energy (this is a man who almost died in the snowy slopes) and attentiveness to the wonder of life remind me
of doc’s character
in back to the future
and the enthusiasm is contagious
_______

sips of carrot apple ginger
and the toast in small glasses
with the ginger brew and the cool waters of the narrows on the north santiam river
as miko paddles through
and i perch in front
and the shared phrase that i take away: everything is perfect – my timing is perfect, my timing is perfect, my timing is perfect
which i repeat when we hit unexpected traffic at 10pm on the highway on the way to the airport
_______
the heart-shaped rock offering miko places in my palm
which i toss backc into the water
just like maude in harold and maude does with the ring harold gives her
and when harold, beside himself, asks why did you do that!?
maude replies so i’ll always know where it is

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signaling

close crow shadows
swooping over
as i sun salute and reverse twist and plow and cobra
on the light purple mat
placed in the backyard shrub shadows
on an already-heating-up day
_______
shiz and i hugging at the intersection, birdie baby crying
signaling our time
to part paths
i hope you know i later write you’re a big deal to me
_______
the crop of sores
some scabbed over
some open
on the arm of a woman talking to the person on the seat next to me
at the greyhound station while the cnn news person on the flatscreen
(volume cranked offensively loud)
talking about the u.s. and north korea
red and silver flash tape shining
in teh cherry tree branchs
where the mighty fruits dangle
in a range from bright red to black-red
_______
it is a small creek
but it is running
clear and cool and the sound
from where i arrange myself in a sleeping bag and under covers
as heard filtered through the foresty growth
accompanies the other sound
of several owls calling and responding and calling and responding
while almost-full moon glow
lights the sky as if the sun is just about to go down yet but hasn’t
even though it has

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