hitching swiftly

plump gray clouds
in patches
passing over sun
and hitching swiftly east
_______
perched in plastic chair
in the alfalfa patch
a book about rivers open
in my lap
orangeyellow leaves land
on my shoulder
in my hair
graze my cheek and
glance my knee
on their dance down
_______
black ink bleeding
on left hand
naming intersections and
left/right turns
_______
by now, the coppery schwinn 7-speed
should have a name
the goal: to ride down every street on the map
(the map in which swirls of leaves
ridden through
or patches of sun
spilled down on
or the views of mountains
the schwinn and i rotate around
are not indicated)
_______
the sound of an acequia stream
(somewhere between a trickle and a rush)
off the rio fernando
gates lifted
water glinting
_______
messages passed via satellite
from one desert mountain town
to another and back again
a reunion in the either
_______
it’s not the first time
the word nomad
is used in reference to me
but perhaps the first time
the word lovely
has been placed in front of it

_______

from the water world:

5FBB2DF6-9F55-49E4-8037-F4113EAD1D4C_w974_n_s

 A Christian pilgrim dips in the water at the baptismal site known as Qasr el-Yahud on the banks of the Jordan River, which also acts as a border line near Jordan near the West Bank city of Jericho. - voice of america, day in photos

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knots of it

breath drifting in front of me
while i run eastwards
down kit carson
to find the mountain
cloaked in cloud
(a shawl wrap)
_______
jumping jacks i say on the front porch
scarf-wrapped
you know what those are i ask
and demonstrate when natacha says no
_______
an offering
of sparkling water
bubbles rising form the bottom
of the shot glass
set next to kate’s photo
i raise my own fizzing cup
to her
_______
body burden: the accumulated total of chemical toxins
in the body, sometimes stored in fat or bone

murder by water
drowned in a toilet bowl
by a u.s. navy man in the philippines
it is a true story followed

by another true story
serial killer aprehended in indiana
seven women at least
the two identified were sex workers

the question comes up of
whether or not to mention
the trans-ness
in that bathroom in the philipines
[or the woman-ness, for that matter,
scattered throughout indiana]
(not wanting to perpetuate
the over-perpetuated narrative about trans/women
and how unsafe we/they are in our bodies)

the urge to howl
until i lose my voice
squashed by the knowledge of other humans
within earshot
this shutting down
another form losing voice

in this culture of quiet grief
we tie knots of it inside ourselves
carry them til they fray
but never come undone

i don’t know what i’d call the list
but it would refer to the shape
rage takes within this skin
how i carry it calcified
and how, though i wasn’t physically harmed,
i still flinch at the telling
i’m still assaulted by the image it conjures
abraded by the knowing

bruised by the awareness
of the trauma humans are
not only capable of inflicting on others,
but actually do – often and everywhere

the list is where i’d keep
every story of every offense to any body
(including land and water)
that i have absorbed

stomach-sick
as if i either never believed
that something so incomprehensible
could be perpetrated against another
or because of accumulation

the knowing of violenced bodies
stored in skeleton
carried in my marrow

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interior/extorior/land/sky

IMG_4967 IMG_5002 IMG_5009 IMG_5047

IMG_5051 IMG_5055 IMG_5059 IMG_5063 IMG_5075

IMG_5088 IMG_5092

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with snow without

6am awake sky still
dark moon rising
tosses its veil
of light through
my window casting
shadow even
as it wanes
_______
you sound happy says rachel
one time zone over to the west
hours later honna says the same
one time zone over to the east
_______
the racket magpies make
outside casita #3
on a fall day
made of clouds and sun and
wind plucking gold shavings
from the trees
_______
strobe of light
just one
flicker on flicker off
to the south
while the gravel grinds
beneath our feet
_______
envelopes taped with the colors of
taos fall set at the common house table
atop our empty soupbowls
giveaways (or was it takeaways)
regina calls them
poems tucked inside
four with snow
three without
_______
scorpion soup cheryl calls it
and i thank her
for reminding me how much
i love tom kha
_______
furrtieth karen jokes
about the 30th (my birthday)
turned imaginary furry party
and i am laughing
at this around the table
but i am also laughing on a front porch
with tyler chen daddy dollars
as our ongoing joke has found its way
(without any of my doing) into another sphere
another

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we are in the sunlight

6something a.m.
what i think is a bright flash
passing through eyelids
not sure until
a rumble of thunder offers confirmation
_______
the crackle of chiles
while they tumble around open flame
in a rotating metal mesh barrel
_______
signs announcing free tea
attached to a small school bus converted
into a mobile tea kitchen/parlor
that runs on veggie oil
_______
one man stops by
signs the guestbook
mentions how he has returned to vietnam
(the very place he was 50 years ago)
to teach english
his smile showing us
how much he loves his work
_______
it’s illegal to harvest rainwater in colorado
because it takes business away
from the water company
says the woman whose name i forget
cupping her hands around
a cup of vanilla rooibos tea
_______
in the couch-nap dream
ami says she can’t get that song
(hey micki, you’re so fine
you’re so fine you lose my mind)
out of her head
referring to the name of the dog
she’s taking care of
we are in the sunlight of a
living room in chimayo
_______
unkinking my back
on teal yoga mat
ramones playing in the background
i want you around

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magpies swooping

i wake in 10 minute increments
sitting up to take in
the shifting purplepink cloudswath sunrise
_______
yoga flow so good (link to sweat yr turtle off)
i am surprised by the quick passage
of forty minutes
_______
though it is a dead-end
i can’t not ride my bike
down a street named leatherman
what i find there:
view of big mountain
to the north
and pink/orange adobe
with blue-trimmed windows
_______
magpies swooping
through yellow swirl of leaves
(one of which touches my cheek
one of which hits my shoulder)
small smile on my face
as i pedal through
forest leaf-decomposing smell
in the desert dry air
_______
the several shades of orange
hair of the woman at the garage
sale down the way who talks
about savoring this
warmth while we have it
_______
between central standard and mountain time
i ask about shifts
about closure, clarity, perspective
regarding things a visit to the motherland can do
i ask about the time between
injury and death
i ask about the name
of the favorite aunt
i ask about names and places
of birth
_______
spaciousness i say
about arranging the day as it
comes to me
_______
10:10pm salsa on the radio
smell of skunk seeping through
sealed windows
stars blinking on in moonless sky

_______

from the water world:

5AD5E9A5-8D17-462B-9220-5705F2432B66_w974_n_s
Traditionally-dressed representatives from South Pacific nations push their canoes into the water as they prepare to participate in a protest aimed at ships leaving the Newcastle coal port, located north of Sydney, Australia. Around 100 protesters formed a blockade using traditional canoes and kayaks to the entrance of the world’s largest coal port demanding a global change to the use of coal. – voice of america, day in photos

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like lattice

like lattice work mara says
when i ask her to help me remember
vigas and latillas
words for the parts of the roof
of helene wurlitzer’s adobe house
that took seven years to build
________
who is that little creature
with the open mouth i ask
about the small clay figure
with arms/legs circling a vessel
that’s a rain catcher
really popular with the anglos
michael says
which doesn’t phase me in the least
when i lean in close
to that carved face
_______
a shelf of thin german books
covers of fantastic colors/patterns
my finger traces helene’s
handwritten name on the inside cover
_______
i’m always outraged i say
(referencing fracking injection wells, the chilean woman’s account i heard on the radio about how aborting her several-week fetus classified her as criminal, about an ebola vaccine that could be developed but hasn’t been because there’s not enough money in it)
but this rage feels different
this rage is changing (me)
(a kind of being called and
moving towards the voice
before i know what it will ask of me)
_______
tom brings orange/almond chocolate
and uses the prase life-changing when he mentions
the vermont residency and the
trans literature conference in winnipeg
________
my pulse visible
in the middle of my palm
when i hold it flat, face-up
under the desklight

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