may you be safe

the thought is something like:
how cool and weird (in a cool way) is this kid
about emory
wearing his straw glasses
and sucking up the tea
from a glass at the butcher block

how i feel compelled to re-write
kathe izzo’s words
(from her gemini full moon Email)
into the cream-ish colored blank paper
of my notebook:

in this age of social media
(particularly in my enthusiastic
method of sharing)
I am sure it has not gone unnoticed
that I went on an extraordinary
journey to Alaska this Fall
&, indeed, did fall in love.

It was lovely.
My heart broke open in a
million ways.
It didn’t work out.
No one’s fault,
just the nature of things.
Heart broke open more.

No need to explain,
we have all been there.

The depths of my contemplation
around this heartbreak, 
has coincided with the
heightened awareness of my personal connection
to the frontline at Standing Rock ~
medicine brothers & sisters
waking up each day in the depths
of that continuous prayer,
not just for the easement of the pipeline
& the protection of the water supply
but in the deep prayer for
the militarized police force 
right in front of them daily,
shining interrogation worthy lights
on top of them,
spraying them down with the very waters
they were protecting
in the freezing cold,
blizzards on their way.

It is in honor of  this prayer for the transgressors,
prayers for those oppressors
we find ourselves up against,
all of us, in a daily way,
that I present this newsletter
in the face of this huge moon,
full of illusion.

How is your heart broken today?
What is the heart break that is touching 
you the most deeply, intimately?
Take a moment right now
to peer into the separation
between you & them.
Feel the separation,
the duality,
the inconsolable otherness.

When I was staring into my personal heartbreak
the weekend the vets were arriving
at Standing Rock
& the December 5th eviction was looming,
I was lucky enough to get
some divine counsel in
How to Deal with a Broken Heart:

1) Do not blame anyone for not being
able to show up for love.
2) It is a sign of disrespect to make an 
assumption about anyone else’s life,
even if they appear evil
& particularly if you know them well.
3) Compassion
(for me this took the form of 
an intentional Metta prayer
every time I reeled & bucked
& wanted to punish someone,
anyone, for my heartbreak ~
this prayer was specifically:
May you be happy,
May you be well,
May you be safe,
May you be peaceful
& at ease).
4) I was also instructed to pray
for everyone who were not able
to show up for love
& for the people who loved them

All of this went down internally
in the face of watching those
Water Protectors
kneel with their smudge & feathers
on the frontline
& also a day later,
watching the Veteran crew
bow down in front of 
Tribal Elders.

Take a look again at
your personal heartbreak right now.
What do you feel separate from?
Where do you feel abandoned,
without a tether.
Where is it that you feel
the most desire for connection.