you haven’t been this awake before / you’re the mapmaker now

wrestling the bulky heavy tangles of
tomato plants out the hoophouse door then
hoisting them into the cart
comical in a human vs. plants kind of way

condensation dripping off the curve
of hoophouse plastic ceiling
and landing on my tshirt

your poems johanna says are just right on time.
when you sting yourself to death,
you’re supposed to become the phoenix,
the other stage of scorpio (after scorpion)
is the eagle – it’s about seeing.

and then she hands me the key to gate three
(leading out of the heartbreak garden):
s. & l. happening saved you –
it’s not a relationship that could be sustained.
she would drain you/lean on you
in ways you can’t sustain.
though it was a sharp smack across the face – she’s worth
every emotion you feel about her
because she/it got your attention.
you haven’t been this awake before.


i’ve been needing a guide i say
someone to hold the lantern up to the
unlit places so i can look in and say
aaaaaah, that’s what that is

with a flourish i introduce
the two flavors of crackers
i baked to go along with the
roasted squash/sweet potatoes and
dahl soup:
garlic and sundried tomato with sunflower seeds,
coriander, black pepper and sesame

this poem
as a poem-a-day in my inbox
i star and return to
several times in several days:

By Lola Ridge

I wonder
how it would be here with you,
where the wind
that has shaken off its dust in low valleys
touches one cleanly,
as with a new-washed hand,
and pain
is as the remote hunger of droning things,
and anger
but a little silence
sinking into the great silence.       


a blurb from this months scorpio galactic rabbit horoscope:

It was cruel (cruel to be kind?) the way Saturn stayed with Scorpio for so long. How it made Scorpio navigate the dark unknown path without a map and only a sliver of moonlight for guidance. Now that Saturn has moved into Sagittarius, you might find yourself ready to rest and you can. You can turn around and look at all the ways you have grown this past year, how you have been brave in your transformation. Be proud of yourself. You didn’t have a map because all the old maps were wrong. Rest for a little bit, yes, then get up. You’ve got work to do, Scorpio, you are the mapmaker now.



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