academia did this to me

what the keys say:
something about change, treasure
and the element of fire

_______

last night’s pink lady apple slices
shriveling on today’s gold-rimmed plate

_______

four tiny nails gripped in pursed lips
hammered in hundred-year-old wall
world map installation
i practice staring longingly
at quito

_______

someone mentions the image
of abrana arechiga
pulled from her house in chavez ravine
(outside of LA)
by police so the city
can build a baseball stadium
which makes me wonder
if anyone has done any work about this history of displacements
in relation to the sports industry
(take for instance
the olympics
how i remember hearing for the summer in atlanta
the city lined garbage cans with chemicals
so those who lived on the streets and often ate out of them
coudln’t
how i remember in vancouver
my friends who lived there watching the city change
another sweeping of houseless people
out to where?)

_______

another image:
someone 100 years from now
standing at ground zero
scratching their head saying
something happened here…
as a way to talk about the relativity
of place/space
how time shifts significance

_______

swimming in a sea of phd’s
dropping science on their dissertations
and when it comes to me i say
i’m working on, like, 12 projects right now
including one that is in a sense bringing
those that have been killed due to anti-transgender violence
back to life
but i’m not sure if it’s working
(which isn’t to say
‘i’m not sure if it’s bringing people back to life’
but to say
i believe in process)

_______

how i had to lie on my back for an hour
so all i could see was sky and tree
academia did this

_______

ruby chest plate
of otherwise dark hummingbird
glinting in right angle of sun
a tincan from here to the world of the dead
kate on the other end

_______

i can get behind theory into practice
i say
shuttle-stop bound
but theory into theory
words that talk to other words
that will always stay inside books
which will always stay inside academia
i don’t get it

_______

a name for the regret/twist
when a previous student calls out my name and a greeting
but i can’t remember theirs
because i want to offer them that gesture
i want to give them that personal connection/sense of investment

_______

stop one: the garden
where beets abound and then
the pathway
curved and scattered with uprooted weeds
then the kitchen window from which one can
silently judge and dishwash
at the same time

_______

first the magic bathroom mirror magic trick
that, if timed right
results in man-hands
then the room of levitating sleep and yoga

_______

liz identifies
the difference between
my catholic upbringing (tradition, ritual: social)
and her christian upbringing (psychological)
and it is a brilliance
when someone else can articulate so clearly
what i never even knew i’ve been trying to say

_______

tonight
the shredded beets + scissorcut salad
with wild rice + sauteed mushrooms / shallots
plus goat cheese and ginger dressing
win